…And we are underway.
Eight results in, seven teams out, seven teams through, two teams need to go again…
>>> First Round Results >>> // >>> Second Round Fixtures >>>
First Round Results
Atletico Topo Chico #36 57½ – 73½ BattleVAR Galactico #25 (F1)
It was a dominant performance from the BattleVAR crew with big scores from Alex Iwobi (13½) and Tyrick Mitchell (also 13½). A 9 from Alisson and an 8½ from goalscorer Enzo Le Fée boosted their chances of progressing, and Diogo Dalot saw the game to a close with another big 10½.
BattleVAR Galactico will play Gloopy Yarbles #12 in the Second Round
Sporting Thrillhaus #37 66½ – 41 Gnonto Seed #38 (C1)
A brace for Viktor Gyökeres, a goal for Sesko and another 12½ for Virgil van Dijk gave Thrillhaus the thrill they were seeking. Not only did they coast into Round Two, they proved that without a shadow of a doubt they are indeed good enough. A score in the 70s firmly demonstrates the potential for a team to go far. The first hurdle is behind them.
Sporting Thrillhaus face Slots Fired #7 in Round Two
Alleviate the Tedium #32 57½ – 29 Scott FC #39 (H1)
As predicted, ATT strode into the last 32 by effortlessly passing against a ghost team. With Wirtz and Isak missing in the Liverpool squad and Pedro Porro not ready in time for the London Derby (and with no substitute presetting on Fantrax), the League Two team stepped aside to let the Hearts Faithful go on.
Alleviate the Tedium will play Hung Like a Bony #6 in the Second Round
Toastenham Hankdog #35 57 – 57 Beyer Neverleusen #27 (B1)
Late, late drama in Match #B1 – with Toastenham set to win by half-a-point, a late stat correction (Aït-Nouri: +1 Tackle) levelled things up for Neverleusen, twenty-four hours after the final whistle. The rebranded THFC came agonisingly close to squeezing past their Premier League opposition despite missing (and failing to replace) O’Brien, Guimaraes and Wissa. Their saviour was Palace’s shot-stopper Henderson on a remarkable day that earned him 22 points (90Mins, 1CS, 7Saves, 1PK Save). And it had to be good to match Iwobi (13½ FPts, off the bench) and Jimenez (13 FPts). Unfortunately for Neverleusen, they kept Trai Hume on against the in-form Jimenez, so while he scored well from his two goals, it was slightly detrimental to his defence. Hume’s -1 cost Beyer a win, and the pair will have to replay the fixture next weekend.
Toastenham Hankdog and Beyer Neverleusen will replay in Gameweek 28.
The winners will play Wrockwardine Wood Wolves #9 in the Second Round
East Loop United FC #40 50 – 54½ Borussia Teeth #34 (D1)
Here we have another example of KO by USB (Unset Subs Bench). Eze set ELU up nicely with 17½ in the North London Derby, but Saka’s 9½ kept Teeth out in front. Both teams had Brian Mbuemo on Monday night, so four points down and with just one player to play, Everton’s Dwight McNeil had the power to win the game for ELU. Alas, just as Lewis-Skelley didn’t come off the Arsenal bench on Sunday night, McNeil also didn’t take to the field, nine-man ELU (leaving 8½ on their bench) pass on the opportunity to reappear in the Cup this season. Borussia Teeth did enough, but were also lucky not to be outdone.
Borussia Teeth play Bigger than Brolin #14 in R2
Uncle Monty #33 59 – 62 Bigo1 #30 (E1)
There was some focus on this match as two successful teams faced off. One had to be booted, and it was the higher-league team that fell through the trapdoor. Despite a pretty good score, Bigo1 are on an incredible run of form, now nine straight wins on all competitions, and return to the Second Round by the grace of just three points. Uncle Monty, who did set their subs, could not enjoy Eze’s 17½ as Calafiori and Mykolenko both failed to appear and Monty couldn’t meet the minimum requirement for three defenders. Bigo1 (who also left Eze on the bench!) managed to use that third defender – Joachim Andersen being the lowest-scoring of the three, with a (surprisingly) game-winning 3½ FPts.
Bigo1 play Housewives Favourite #1 in the Second Round.
Team Zizou #29 68 – 40 Shams Army #31 (G1)
As if to emphasise the description in the preview last week, the stronger team did beat the higher-league team, and it nearly became a rout. Raul Jimenez and Virgil van Dijk comfortably carried the newcomers into Round Two, but it wasn’t enough to beat BattleVAR in the League (see above). The usually strong Shams Army missed out on Welbeck’s niner and a couple of goose-eggs in the midfield crippled their efforts and they retire from the competition earlier than expected.
Team Zizou play Whiskey De Bruyne #2 in the Second Round.
Peltier #26 64½ – 60 AI-Jiggery-Pokery #28 (A1)
Monday evening – Peltier led by 7.5 with two players left while AIJP had Marmoush ready to come off the bench with 7 and two players left too. It could have been a far more interesting Monday night if AIJP had any substitutes to replace Jake O’Brien, but since AIJP had chosen to play a 3-3-4 formation, with three(!) spare forwards and no defenders on the bench, Marmoush’s 7 was never a viable option.
This meant that Peltier (who was playing a more flexible 3-4-3 and had a sensible DMMF bench) had a man advantage and two United players remaining going into the final game. The ever-dangerous Bruno Fernandes and Sesko. Last night it was Sesko who did the damage, for United and Peltier, with his second half strike away at Everton.
The new signings performed well – Peltier’s James Hill (8 FPts), James Justin (5 FPts) and Matheus Fernandes (7½ FPts) all featured in their win. AIJP had potential in their new signings Marmoush (7, benched), Groß (5½), and Casemiro (5½) and they went down fighting with a Danny Welbeck goal, but this was cancelled out late in the gameweek when Sesko scored for Peltier.
Peltier will next play Preliminary Version #10 in the Second Round.
Second Round Fixtures
Gameweek 30
New rankings as per the current Best-ish table
Beedle’s Boys #5 vs. Stafford Stallions #21 (B2)
Both promotion-chasers, first meeting.
Beedle’s Boys – League Two, 1st // Cup Best: First Cup
Stafford Stallions – League One, 3rd // Cup Best: First Cup
Winners face winners of D2 (below) in the Third Round
Barons FC #2 vs. Jaysokker #22 (D2)
First meeting.
Barons – Championship, 2nd // Cup Best: QF (2018, 2021)
Jaysokker – League One, 9th // Cup Best: Runners-Up (2022)
Winners face winners of B2 (above) in the Third Round
Gloopy Yarbles #10 vs. BattleVAR Galactico #25 (K2)
Both currently 5th; met in S7 Cup QF (Gloopy won 55-27)
Gloopy Yarbles – Premier League, 5th // Cup Best: Runner-Up (2021)
BattleVAR Galactico – League Two, 5th // Cup Best: Quarter-Finals (2020, 2021)
Winners face winners of C2 (below) in the Third Round
The Phenoms #11 vs. Mighty Fine #23 (C2)
Rematch of CL R1 (GW9); Phenoms 54-53 Mighty Fine
The Phenoms – Championship, 1st // Cup Best: QF’s (2024)
Mighty Fine – Premier League, 4th // Cup Best: Winners (2023, 2025)
Winners face winners of K2 (above) in the Third Round
De Bruyne Trousers #4 vs. Goleta Hotspur #19 (M2)
Six previous meetings, all won by DBT.
De Bruyne Trousers – Premier League, 2nd // Cup Best: QF (2024)
Goleta Hotspur – League Two, 6th // Cup Best: SF (2023)
Winners face winners of N2 (below) in the Third Round
Slots Fired #7 vs. Sporting Thrillhaus #34 (N2)
First meeting
Slots Fired – Championship, 4th // Cup Best: R3 (2023, 2025)
Sporting Thrillhaus – League One, 8th // Cup Best: R2 (2025)
Winners face winners of M2 (above) in the Third Round
Sporting Wicker Park #15 vs. All Star Gunners #18 (P2)
GW30: League & Cup double-header, both former Cup runners-up;
Replay of Season 9 Cup R2: SWP 24 – 34 ASG
Sporting Wicker Park – Championship, 5th // Cup Best: Runner-Up (2016)
All Star Gunners – Championship, 6th // Cup Best: Runner-Up (2023)
Winners face winners of J2 (below) in the Third Round
Hung Like a Bony #6 vs. Alleviate the Tedium #xx (J2)
Met CL R1, GW9, Hung 76½ – 25 ATT
Hung Like a Bony – Premier League, 3rd // Cup Best: Runner-Up (2024)
Alleviate the Tedium – Championship, 9th // Cup Best: QF (2025)
Winners face winners of P2 (above) in the Third Round
Wrockwardine Wood Wolves #12 vs. Winner Match B1 #?? (I2)
Awaiting a First Round Replay
Wrockwardine Wood Wolves – League Two, 2nd // Cup Best: First Cup
*Toastenham Hankdog – League One, 6th // Cup Best: R2 (2025)
*Beyer Neverleusen – Premier League, 7th // First Cup
Winners face winners of F2 (below) in the Third Round
Bigger than Brolin #14 vs. Borussia Teeth #35 (F2)
S9 Cup R2: 45-45 and BtB 54 – 21 Teeth (replay)
Bigger than Brolin – League One, 2nd // Cup Best: Winners (2017, 2021)
Borussia Teeth – League Two, 9th // Cup Best: R2 (4x)
Winners face winners of I2 (above) in the Third Round
Housewives Favourite #3 vs. Bigo1 #30 (L2)
Two previous runners-up; first meeting
Housewives Favourite – Premier League, 1st // Cup Best: Runner-Up (2021)
Bigo1 – League Two, 3rd // Cup Best: Runners-Up (2018)
Winners face winners of A2 (below) in the Third Round
Whiskey De Bruyne #1 vs. TeamZizou #28 (A2)
First meeting
Whiskey De Bruyne – League One, 1st // Cup Best: R3 (2023, 2024)
Team Zizou – League Two, 7th // Cup Best: First Cup
Winners face winners of L2 (above) in the Third Round
Smash & Grab #13 vs. Vanishing Spray FC #17 (E2)
An all-PL tie, 34th meeting (33rd: PL, GW29)
Smash & Grab – Premier League, 9th // Cup Best: Winners (2019)
Vanishing Spray – Premier League, 8th // Cup Best: Semi-Finals (2021)
Winners face winners of G2 (below) in the Third Round
FPL Daddy #15 vs. El Dude Bros #24 (G2)
First meeting.
FPL Daddy – League Two, 4th // Cup Best: First Cup
El Dude Bros – Premier League, 6th // Cup Best: Winners (2022)
Winners face winners of E2 (above) in the Third Round
Preliminary Version #9 vs. Peltier #26 (H2)
Just met in the Championship – Prelim 65 – 64½ Peltier
Preliminary Version – Championship, 3rd // Cup Best: QF (2024)
Peltier – Championship, 7th // Cup Best: R2 (4x)
Winners face winners of O2 (below) in the Third Round
GoFYS FC #8 vs. AFC Chester #20 (O2)
An all-League One tie. 15th matchup; 7-7 in first 14.
GoFYS FC – League One, 4th – Cup Best: R3 (2018, 2020WC)
AFC Chester – League One, 5th – Cup Best: SF (2023)
Winners face winners of H2 (above) in the Third Round
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